wife hardens heart-5

[planet]

argh!!
W is acting like a total b***h.

I came over and saw D3 and D4 was watching TV. They should be taking their afternoon nap. I told them to sleep which D3 obliged while D4 ran upstairs to her mother crying. I kept on asking D4 with a firm voice to come back and sleep.

W just doesn't care if they lacked discipline. W doesn't want to cooperate at all and instead denied that they lacked discipline and i was only 'showing' my authority. D4 was acting out and even W can't control her. Still she thinks it's alright. W even pull out the 'caning' card but did absolutely nothing.

I sat down to talk to her about the D3 incident to which she accused me of being 'selfish' and said that i expect reports.
Selfish of what? How is that thinking only of 'myself'? Letting me know of their welfare is seen as reporting?
I'm concerned only for their well-being and nothing else.

She said i don't care about the kids. She said i don't even want pay extra for our kids extra classes which i really cannot afford at the moment. She still expects me to jump in and pay for everything. How this related to the above baffles me.

She's pushing my buttons again. Expects me to fight her. Can't even have a calm and proper discussion even it is something about the kids. I'm exasperated. I did not raise my tone and was consistent throughout.

How to deal with this?
I'm out of ideas. Please help.