I know I'm supposed to be giving H lots of space and time, especially since the discovery of OW. However, one of the reasons he claims he needed OW was because it feels like I don't "need or want" him.
How do I detach and let go...give him that space...but not make it look like I don't care or like I am giving up? Or does it matter?
If I'm DBing for ME and for my kids...then, do I just continue to do my own thing and hope that he realizes that I still might want our marriage to work. I still love him deeply...just don't know if I can ever trust him again.
I would be lying if I said I know exactly what I want right now. I'm still so mad, so hurt....that part of me wants him gone.
But, then, I remember our history and our children...and think about how it could be better someday.
Am I just thinking too much?
I guess I'm just trying to figure out what I should be doing right now. He already told me he's not coming home tomorrow. He is going to his friend's to watch football and stay the day.
He isn't giving any indication that he wants to spend any time with me and that's ok.
But, he came home today and stayed until work, and he didn't have to do that.
So, do I just go dim? Don't call or text him at all... and act like I am moving on?
Or will that cause more distance between us?
We were still being intimate this past week, until the discovery of the EA on Thursday. Obviously, I'm not ready for that right today, but what if that's a way to connect with him. Sex is really important to him. If I cut him off, is that punishing him? Because I don't want to come across as punishing him. Both H and OW claim the affair was never physical...but who knows?
Then, the few friends and family I got support from the past day or two have been super amazing and encouraging but are ALL telling me to get a lawyer and leave. I'm not there yet.
Can anyone tell how confused I am??? I just may start my own little MLC for myself. LOL. Just kidding!
