new start for me

[kelela]

Starting tonight I'm on vacation I hope it goes slow so I can just vegetate. I am planning to get my hair done with a cut and maybe colored. Not sure how short I should go and what color or should i just get highlights put in.right now my hair is a little passed my shoulders. My MIL said that I should just trim my hair and put in highlights only not to go all out like how I dreamed of. I had a dream last night that I had my hair cut like miley Cyrus. And MIL said no way; that H likes long hair not short hair but I'm doing this for me not for him. I'm so done with H. I really don't care what he likes or don't like he left our family and as of right now he is not coming back to our family. Anyway I know he will never come back to us. So I'm just going to move on and try my hardest to start saving all my pennies so that I can start making plans to file the paper work I can't go on like this anymore where he gets my hopes up then he turns around and cut it down. I'm so tired of these emotional games he keeps playing with me. I know I should give it more time since its only been 3 monthes since he moved out. I just want to be happy again.this is how I feel right now at this moment. Who knows I may end up changing my mind million of times like I have been doing since this whole thing started. Well I should stop here and spend some time with my boys tonight.