Probably because I had this thread's previous advice already in my head, I have been doing what you both suggest. Seriously, I kept thinking "What would someone on the boards tell me to do?"
So, thank you all who have been giving me pointers, especially the past couple of days.
I've been mostly just listening... letting him talk.
Because I did open that bank account yesterday, he told me that it is obvious I am moving on. I told him that, no, I actually needed a lot more time to think things through. He replied, "Opening your own account is something you would never do. Anyone who knows you, knows that is weird behavior. It tells me that you are done."
At first, I worried about this but realized that it was a good 180, maybe? He also said that I "sure was acting all confident and sure" of myself and "acting out of character" for me.
He asked what my plan was. I told him I didn't have one, yet. That it is too soon to decide anything.
I also told him that we can't repair the old marriage but that we can build a new together. Completely start over. That I'm willing to do this but that I think we would need counseling.
He made a interesting comment. He said he realized there is no point in in marrying someone else down the road because the same things that bother him about me will probably be in any new relationship.
I have been literally biting my lip at times to not talk or argue or try to defend myself.
He is still very confused about what he wants, too. So, I just need to continue to listen, validate... and try to be the newer, calmer me? I keep trying to remember to just "be still".
