Who is this woman & what has she done with my wife

[THX-1138]

It's been a while since my last post - nine days. W is still out of town on her 10 day MLC vacation with college buddies watching football games at her alma mater, and partying like it's 1999. She comes back in town tomorrow. (To her apartment.)

I have been doing pretty well emotionally. Keeping busy and trying not to dwell on this stuff all day long.

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Next week, divorce proceedings will begin in earnest. As a result, I have been considering breaking DB rules by instigating a serious talk with her. In this talk, I would ask her to delay the divorce proceedings until she is absolutely sure this is what she wants. She was still dating me and sleeping with me three months ago, and obviously confused about her own situation well into August. I would argue that she should not make such a serious decision so quickly. She knows that she was confused, but also believes she is really happy now, and that everything is going to be great.

Do you think this discussion/appeal is a good idea or not? My motivation is partly financial, because obviously, the lawyers are going to start chewing through our money. (There isn't much of it either.) I'm also hoping that if she agrees to be separated for another six months, it might make a possible reconciliation easier for her to think about. If she divorces me, it makes the path back home longer and more difficult for both of us.

Frankly, the closer we get to the actual divorce, the more distant I am moving from her. I do not anticipate standing for long after the papers are all signed (about six-nine months from now). So if she goes through with this D, I feel our chance of reconciling to be smaller than it already is.

An argument against having this talk, and appealing for a longer separation, is that she will see my request as pressuring and controlling, which tends to drive MLCer's nuts. Even if she agrees to delay the divorce, she may resent me for it.

I think she is trying to hold on to the moral high road in that having filed for D, she feels it is morally acceptable for her to have her affair(s). If she remains simply separated, she will feel that she can't be free to have affair(s), and will blame me for denying her pleasure and freedom. She will also blame me for her moral failings if she has affair(s) because it will be my fault she isn't divorced.

Thoughts?