Our talk is tonight and I am worried about the validating thing. I have been REALLY bad at this in the past. I pasted a quote about validating earlier on this thread so I will have to go back and read that again.

Where we get into trouble is that I feel the need to defend myself. I usually feel like he says things that I don't feel are true and I defend myself. What if he says something I don't agree with or don't think are true? Or he says I haven't been doing something but I actually have?? Do I defend myself then??

For example, if he says I have not been independant enough and I am always relying on him. I guess I would then say, yes I could see how you would think that but I have really been working on trying to be more independant. I have been getting groceries on the weekends and driving around town more. I have been trying to fix things around the house without asking you first.

Is that a good response?

Any advice or tips would be appreciated!

-cp smile

M: 8 yrs T:14
Twins:7 S:5
BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013
Mar/Apr/May: MC
June: "living in limbo"
Sept 12: H moves out
Oct 20: reconciling
Jan-Feb 2014:MC
Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.