G, Thank you for these words. I wanted to respond earlier in the week, but I've been swamped! Your words really have helped this past week. And I don't think you're hard on me at all :-) I think the concept of him being alone in this was especially helpful. I forget his point of view on things that are anxiety provoking for me. I'll never forget the time that our MC said, "You have to remember, while you are mourning the loss of your happy pregnancy experience, he lost out on it too" and the tears welling up in H's eyes.
The week has gotten easier as the days go by. I have been looking at more boy bedding and I think I worked the logistics out as to where we're going to put this kid.
Plus, I've been dealt some cards that honestly make this the very least of my worries. Fortunately (and probably thanks to DB), while they are pretty big changes, because I literally have zero control of the outcome, I have very little anxiety about it. I have to just accept whatever happens (basically, there's a good chance they'll close my school unit in January. I won't be out of a job, but I won't be doing the same thing anymore).
I did see my doc yesterday. He said baby boy looks good, all tests have come back normal thus far. I feel like I've exploded this week (I gained 3 lbs!) but I'm still in the normal range for size. We're at 19 weeks, so I'm almost half way there.
