S4tk, I'm no vet by any means, but one thing that has been giving me positive results (and it is HARD) is to do the opposite of what you have been doing. If you have been bringing up the R and crying and following her around, stop.
One advice I read here that makes very much sense, is to live your life as if you have come to your senses and decided to be ok and happy whether or not with the WAS.
I don't know if you read my whole stitch, but in the first day I did this, my H went nuts. He was very very bothered about it. He couldn't understand why I was acting nonchalant and not overreacting and emotional.
Beware that when that happens, the WAS may push more buttons because a lot of their behavior stems as a reaction from ours or are expecting to get a reaction from us. That's why when we step away from the picture emotionally, and sometimes physically, they are forced to look at themselves, because there's no push and pull to distract them and make them blame someone else. Makes sense?
I still have a LOT to learn, but this is what I've figured out so far.
