I wanted to write about boundaries A good friend of mine wrote these and I know he wouldn’t mind if I reposted them.
Think about , very specifically, what you want boundaries on.
List them out and read them (aloud) to yourself. Sometimes reading them aloud will give you a new perspective on them. If they sound funny , then find out why they do,because they might not be a boundary that you need to relay....
Make sure, 100%, that your boundaries are NOT for you to "punish" in any way...
Watch how you deliver them. Make sure that you word them without coming across as controlling.
Closely examine the words "you", and "I" . Anytime one uses those words, there is a strong chance of using guilt, or blame.
"Always" and "Never" are words that can make us hypocrites....try to stay away from them as well.
Make sure that YOU feel good about saying them, and they are only to protect your emotional being, or physical in some cases.
Make sure that you are willing to die on that hill. Meaning is it worth it to even state them.
Do NOT overstate them. Say what you want ONCE, and rest on that. Don't explain yourself, you have your reasons, just like they have theirs.
Then you need to back away, and live with those boundaries, and let them live with them. They will cause them to spin a little, but that isn't your problem now.
Use tact, not anger. Tact was described to me as telling someone to go to hell, and they look forward to the trip.
Be the person that you want to be, regardless of what happens. You are setting a boundary, not to induce a reaction, but regardless the reaction.
