new start for me

[Not Quitting]

Alright K, take a couple of deep breaths.

You can move on with your life. You've already started by taking that new position. Just because you're moving on, doesn't mean you have to close the door on ever reconciling with your H. It's all part of DBing and GALing. Working on yourself is moving on, moving out of your H's shadow, learning that you can survive without him. It doesn't mean that you want to survive without him, just that you can.

IMO, you did well apologizing about the photos. My H told me that all he wants with my son's school photos is to borrow the one I order for myself so he can scan it into his computer and he asked that I order one for MIL, which I was planning to do anyway. I probably would have reacted the same way if he asked me to order one for OW.

It is really hard when their OW is a bigger part of their life than you are. I had to sit back tonight and let my H's OW sit in the car outside my house while he picked up all his tools.

Now, turn your focus back onto yourself and your boys. Let your H get and do whatever it is he's doing. He's got to figure these things out for himself. While he's doing that, you concentrate on improving yourself for you.

I'm sure someone else will be along with some advice for you as well. In the meantime, forget (as hard as it is) about your H for now. Do you have the boys this weekend? Make some plans with them. It's Halloween soon - do they have costumes, what about going to a farm to pick out a pumpkin. Fall colours are out there - find somewhere with loads of trees to walk and kick leaves.

You can do this K , and you're not alone. We're here for you.