I know my friends on here struggle with understanding all this.
I get why they do. It is craziness, this crisis.
To see someone you have loved, have lived with, have shared a life and a history become someone so foreign, is so hard to understand.
And I know we are programmed to try to figure stuff out.
But sometimes in life, it just isnt possible unless it is happening to you.
You can sympathize with someone who has cancer, but, cant possibly know what it feels like to have it.
You can ache for someone who has lost a child, but, cannot feel the depth of their pain unless you have, too.
And that is ok, you know. It is ok to say I just dont get it, dont understand it, cant get my mind around it.
It is not a weakness in you, a lacking in you that you cant.
Sometimes things simply are what they are. And we just need to accept that.
When someone has cancer or has lost someone, you have empathy; you have compassion, regardless of whether or not you can completely feel their particular pain.
These loved ones who are in crisis, deserve that as well.
It doesnt give them a free pass, not at all. But we love them, and so, we should try to feel for them.
There is plenty of time in the future to figure out how you will deal with the fallout if they come through this.
Plenty of time to decide if you can forgive, what you need, what you want the relationship to look like if it comes to that.
Sometimes it is best to live in the moment. Sometimes it is ok to just accept what is at the time.
So, do your best for as long as you can. Honor your long time relationship the best way you know how.
Remember your life story with them.
Live your life, take it one day at a time, and accept what is right now.
