My friends, I have seen many MLCs -on here and out there.

Several of them up close. I have spoken to those who survived a MLC and those who are still stuck.

I have seen marriages survive and marriages irretrievably broken. I have seen MLCers come out of it, and some who never do.

I have seen LBSers stand and not stand. I have seen some who wish they did and others who are glad they didnt.

The thing of it is this. I accepted that this was a crisis. I knew it without a doubt.

My xh had stood with me through some very difficult times. We had a history, a life.

And so, knowing these things, I knew that for me, it was important to stand.

I wanted to honor a long term marriage, my only child's father, my vows, and the man I had known and loved all those years.

I had my roadmap of how I was going to act. I accepted that I could not control what my h was doing, or whether or not he looks inside. I could only control me.

I knew I had work to do. I knew what I would be able to withstand and what I could not.

This path is personal to the individuals on it.

I will say that it is important not to lose oneself in it all. It is important to know when the cost is too great. It is ok when you cannot do it anymore. It is important to take care of you and to protect your heart.

It is also important to be true to yourself. It is ok to have hope, to believe, just as it is ok to feel worn down.

I will tell you that I do not regret what I chose. I do not regret who I have become. I do not regret that I loved so deeply.

We cannot fix them. But we can take this as an opportunity to look within. We can learn and grow and let go.

I want you to make your decisions based on your beliefs from a place of strength. I want you to understand that life gives us hard stuff sometimes.

And the ability to rise above them is a testament to the human spirit.

I understand and respect whatever decision one makes for oneself.

I want for all of you to be the best you can be. I want you to know without a doubt that it all matters, who you are, what you stand for.

I believe in love, honor and commitment. I believe you should say what you mean and mean what you say. I believe that you can do anything you want to if you try hard enough. I believe that some stories dont have happy endings. But, that doesnt mean you cant make your own.