Jon you have been here before. You have pointed out that your w can be mean spirited before. You may be done, but you are reacting in the moment rather than taking time to let things settle.
Your w needs counseling and if you are gone anyway, you may want to attempt to help her get help without worrying about if it will drive her away or not.
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
