He gets worried when you pull away. That is a positive emotion that you want him to feel. Don't let his worry scare you into stopping. YOU are not damaging the R. HE has done the damage and you cannot control him.
I think he needs to work through his guilt if he is going to come out the other end. For him to work through it, you have to allow him to feel it.
Thank you for saying that. A lot of times I feel like I am being too cold and that this could backfire, but lately I can't help it.
I need distance, but I don't, if that makes any sense.
I woke up crying this morning and I think everyone heard me. H kept hounding me, asking what was wrong, and that I seemed off. Again, I don't want to hint or start any serious R talk while SS11 is here, so I said I had some nightmares.
Eventually H just laid down the couch and looked miserable himself. Maybe that's the guilt he has to go through?
He is still doing nice things for me and trying his best to be involved with S1.
I did a terrible job at GALing and instead of hanging out with my friends, I went to the beach with H, SS11 and S1. They all had a blast. I was in a foul mood up until I read some responses here. Thank you, ladies!
I get so down on myself that I wonder if this is worth fighting for. H has never been an easy person to get along with, hence why I think he has borderline personality disorder. He fits it to a T. My C yesterday asked me whether I'd be willing to keep dealing with this issue for the rest of my life, if he is never really getting help for this. It's a good question. Our lives had always had drama caused by him. It's never been smooth. There's always something stirring. The calmer and happier we seem to get, the crazier his mood swings become.
