SP, As you move through this, try not to force logic on what your wife is doing. She is involved in an affair, and she is in the fog of it. In the fog, there is no logic as you know it. Her mind isn't in your world. Often the LBS (myself included at the time) will ask themselves "Why would my spouse do this? It's crazy! Doesn't she realize what she's doing? How can she break the family apart like this?". The fact is, they are not thinking rationally. They are thinking as if their brain were on drugs (which it really is with all of those "love" chemicals swirling around). The more you try to apply logic to it, the more confused and frustrated you will become. The WAS is acting like a typical teenager really. Breaking curfew, sneaking out, breaking rules, arguing with their parents. It's all the same foggy behavior.
All you can work on is you. Once her affair has run its course, you want to be in the right place, inside and out, to be the right choice for her. After the fog has lifted, you'll see more rational, logical, behavior from her again. It's a rough ride!
