Learning to detach

[Pudmuddle]

I won't say anything to S14. I noticed h messaged him yesterday, and called, both ignored. Wonder when H will realize that his sons are in a state and need a dad not a text friend?

My H and S16 are the same way right now. Even after S went to a therapy, H shows concern but makes no additional effort to make it safe for his S to speak to him about tender things. H thinks of him more as a buddy than a father. ICK. They are only thinking of THEIR hurt and THEIR pain, even their kids don't matter. REALLY sad.

[Pudmuddle]

Oh (hit send to soon) and I meant to say sorry about all the lawyer cr*p with your H. He is being a big weenie. Hopefully you will find some relief soon.

[Whiterose]

It's so awful to say it would be easier if H dropped off the face of the earth. Ugggg makes me feel awful to say it but he's such a dark and destructive force right now and I feel like I'm the battered shield trying to protect my kids. Pud, how on earth do these men possibly, in their sick heads, rationalize that these sons need a buddy and not a father!?!? Teenage boys needs role models. Need their fathers. We do the best we can but we are not their dad's. Ugggg. Makes me so sad for all these children. Breaks my heart.

So I submitted some extended health receipts and had not seen a cheque I and phoned. They mailed it Sept 11. But they had misprinted one of the claims so when I got it I thought it was H's cheque. Let him know that I had opened it thinking it had been my reimbursement but as I didn't recognize the expenses thought it was his. Guess what? It was mine. $385 and now I've explained to H that cheque was mine and if he could return it to me, I'm playing dumb that he would not cash a cheque not his but it's looooooong gone I'm sure, or I could pick it up if he didn't want to mail it. We'll see what he says now.

Ugg. I want to puke with all this drama He is a big weenie pud! Fully cooked! Lol

[Pudmuddle]

I do believe, and I could be wrong here, it is their way of still trying to rationalize just what they are doing. Trying to make it seem right. Also that they themselves have reverted back to teenage mode and can only see their kids as a buddy. You would think it would be the ONE thing that might wake them up, but alas I have seen that not happen more than not on here. Poor kids.

Oh good grief! Sorry about the check mix-up! Just what you need right now. I guess you can only ask about it and not expect much from the outcome? That would stink for you to have to lose some money I'm sure you need right now.

We need to hold a campfire roast - roast the weenies!

[Whiterose]

For us non-spinners there's just no understanding. Wonder if any mlc posters have thoughts?

I'm hoping he realizes it's illegal to cash a cheque not meant for you.....haven't heard back so he's probably asking his lawyer. I'll then need to tell him I was counting on that money to pay he utilities, that are a month behind, and that I need MY money back. What an idiot! Why wouldn't he have just told me he hadn't made any claims, I could have called the insurance co, and figured out they had made an error and just cashed it myself.

I've got buns you bring condiments. It's a weenie roast!!!! Lol

[job]

WR,
Unless I miss my guess, your h has cashed the check and spent it. I seriously doubt that you'll see a dime of it, unless he's more rational than I thought.

I do hope that you and your sons can try to have a good weekend. You have been at it for a long time and it's time that the wind change course to more positive one for you.

[Whiterose]

I'm sad to say I agree with you job. That money is long gone but him and I are going to have a conversation about it and I will let my lawyer know so that she can file it. Is it crazy of me to keep thinking that somewhere, under this mess, is the man I love? I keep wondering what it'll take to find him......knowing full well its nothing I can do.

I was supposed to work today, Saturday and Sunday but it got changed so now I only work Saturday. I'm stressed about money. Made another mortgage payment yesterday. I've got some paper work to do for the business and should do that. May take S14 on a hike Sunday, depending on weather,

I really miss companionship too. A friend of mine suggested speed dating or an online site. I said no way to online, for now, as I don't want anything "out there". I continue to wear my wedding band and call myself married but don't have a husband. It's a very strange place to be in. I really just want someone to go out with. To watch a movie with. Not sure what to do about that. I'm lonely.

[Tina825]

Whiterose, I too am in the same boat. S9, H only sees him when it's good for him.

I'm at the lonley stage myself. Tired of sitting here without adult companionship. But I'm a married woman and am in no way, shape or form ready to do anything but keep healing myself. I have been wearing wedding ring, husband has not and I wonder if I should continue.

Tomorrow morning I have my second coaching session, I'm excited and curious to see what that will bring.

H suppose to get S today and keep him for the weekend. So I'll be alone ALL weekend! GASP... I'm not looking forward to it at all.

Keep your chin up.

[Pudmuddle]

Same here girls.

Lonely. Wearing wedding ring. H not.

Sigh.

Try to take it one day at a time, or one hour at a time and find things to do, even if you don't want to do them.

Hang in there Tina, WR.

[Whiterose]

Hi Tina 825. Thanks for stopping in.

We're three peas in the same crazy pod, eh. Lol. H's band is on my nightstand. I also find myself wondering should he band come off? I just don't know. I was talking to a male friend and we were talking about me moving forward and suggesting places to meet men, it's been 20 years no clue!, and then talked about what do I call H? He agrees he is still my H and during our conversation he said im not ready. I agree but am lonely. It's crazy. I don't know which way to turn.

Tina i found keep myself super busy the first weekend I was alone helped. Maybe plans with friends?

Just picked up two shifts for Sunday so now work Saturday and Sunday. Money is good.

Let's all just hang in there:)