I am trying my best to forgive her. It's difficult, but I realize it is something I need to do if ever I want to move on. I'm getting there. I find myself being much nicer towards her than she is towards me, and therefore I know that I am making strides. I have made every effort to put my scorecard away. I smile and waive at her every time we pass in our cars, almost daily. She gives me a sideways scowl and forces herself to waive back. I don't understand that. I am trying to be nice and cordial, just like she wanted the day she dropped the bomb. I think one of the biggest things that I struggle with is, I don't fully understand her reasoning for ending the marriage and becoming so angry at me. Granted, I was not Mr. Wonderful. However, I was a pretty darn decent husband for the most part. I am a great Dad and a good provider. I gave my wife a life in which she never had before. I put her first before everything else, and I honestly did make hard efforts to make changes where she requested. All of that makes it difficult for me to comprehend why it would end so quickly, without "really" trying to save it. She has told me over and over again, "I just don't want to try". I struggle with that.
