"homework" from job - Hi Job, thank you

[Pudmuddle]

Well, maybe you can back into the list. What behaviors, thoughts or belief systems push him (and/or others) away? For example, do you have to have the last word? Do you use one-upmanship to discount his pain? Do you have to be right? Do you get defensive when people offer criticism? Do you lash out in anger when you can't control people and/or situations?

Wow. Yes. Yes. Yes. Used to, but no longer. Yes. The funny thing is I used to not be this way, this has come out in dealing with all the emotion and life events that have occurred. Also, the type of job I do requires that I stick to my guns even if no one is listening at the moment. So I am positive that some of that transferred over to my R. I used to love confrontations because I handled them with grace so they didn't bother me. Now I feel like I am afraid of my own shadow. I also used to love criticism from others because I knew it meant I needed to improve something. Unless it was unwarranted.

Thanks for helping me look at this another way Betsey. Awesome.

LOL, you're in Aurora? I work in SE Denver, right on the border of Aurora and live in the DTC area. My XH lives in Aurora. So not far.

I live in Aurora and work in the Southglenn area. Nice to know your nearby!