"homework" from job - Hi Job, thank you

[Pudmuddle]

Cat, thank you again for the insight, into your own sitch which helps me understand better.

I am still absorbing what everyone has said in my post here and am doing some serious thinking and self-study. I actually do make an effort to get out and jog every day, even if I don't feel like it. Afterwards I have happy chemicals and can PMA much better!

The reason I think he is MLC, is because he seems to need the drug...the adoration, and appreciation and the high he gets from the temporary happiness of someone who puts him on his macho pedestal.

My H won't and doesn't spew at me (Thank God) so I don't know what he thinks I should fix. I have asked him for a list of such things in the past if he couldn't tell me in person. So while it's good he doesn't spew, I also don't know what he sees either. Hence my need to reexamine past issues, fights, behaviors to see if I can glean any insight that way. But for now I can't so I am looking at myself as if someone else would want to date or marry me, what would they see?

Underdog, we are close. I am in Aurora, I think you are in Denver somewhere? I will let you know what I choose to do to get unstuck as soon as I figure that out. I've been muddling a few things over.

All alone, I DO feel better and stronger today. I am realizing how much I lost my self in my efforts to make H happy with me. Total fail. I realize I cannot make him happy if he is not happy with him first. Same for me.