I simply can’t understand why on earth your W is wondering if she wants to stay in this marriage…
NOT…
From reading your threads, I see a man who simply can’t be happy without a woman in his life. And I don’t even think that makes you very happy most of the time.
Why do you need that external validation?
Originally Posted By: Djhartm on 1/27/03
The big D seems oblivious to age, striking newlyweds to those into their 50th wedding-anniversaries.
I'm 33, caucasion, no kids married for 5.2 years, dated for 8, separated for 8 months, divorce pending. Live-in GF of 7 months (my saving grace). W walked out on me.
You found a new girlfriend and moved her in 1 month after separating from your first W. I assume your “saving grace” is the W you are currently married to…
Originally Posted By: Djhartm on 9/25/13
This lead to excessive drinking, affairs (on my part), and blow-ups caused by alcohol.
Things were going OK before the last blow-up, but I felt she was being cold to me and I wanted desperately to be close to her, simply to hold her hand. I had been drinking, and while we were watching a movie, got up, got dressed, and said I was going out to meet someone who really wants to be with me. And I left.
When I came home, she was gone.
So you weren’t getting the attention you needed and threatened to get it elsewhere. Because attention from a woman makes you feel better?
Why shouldn't she have believed you since you did it in the past.
Can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing she did.
Originally Posted By: djhartm on 12-13-09
She left because of my passive-aggressive, indifferent behavior towards her. Essentially, I took her for granted & withdrew/withheld emotions. I have been diagnosed with depression, ADD, OCD, and borderline-personality disorder, and am finally getting treatment.
We were living like roommates; no intimacy whatsoever. I was avoiding her & the larger issues, and getting my needs met through porn & alcohol.
I haven't had a drink (joined AA) or looked at porn since she left.
Four years ago you weren’t drinking…
What happened to that?
Originally Posted By: Djhartm 9-23-13
Hi All, my wife moved out several weeks ago after an argument & refuses to come home 'to the same thing'.
She is correct.
You have a pattern of not changing and repeating your old behaviors.
Originally Posted By: Djhartm 9-28-13
^"Mulestation"?!?! LOL!
You guys are really distorted when you arrive at a point that you honestly believe kissing your wife is tantamount to molestation.
You heap so much self-guilt on yourselves that I guarantee you, no woman would want such a feeble, self-doubting man so devoid of self-confidence and direction.
I see your stinkin thinkin is still intact.
Yes, anytime you force someone into physical affection, it is tantamount to molestation.
Borderline abuse if it continues.
It is unattractive in any man. Just as this type of thinking is unattractive.
While none of them have said it because they are too selfaware to be bothered by the comments, I have to say I am highly offended for the men on this board.
None of the posters who have been here a while and have actually worked on themselves lack the selfconfidence and direction you accuse them of.
They are very attractive because they have self control, kindness, and a lack of arrogance.
Projection is a dangerous thing…
If things are progressing with your W as you feel they are, I hope you actually take the time to work on your issues…
Self confidence, self value, your obvious issue with alcohol, and your seemingly undervaluation of a woman as a person, with a brain and feelings, and not some feeble minded thing who NEEDS a man to be whole, regardless of how he treats her or views her…
Personally, I think she is giving you one last shot to really be different and that is more than you would get from a lot of the women here… _________________________
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
