"homework" from job - Hi Job, thank you

[cat04]

Pud,

I haven't stated whether I think MLC or not for a few reasons...

Mostly because there is so much in your sitch that I am not sure.

And what I think doesn't matter that much anyway.

There is depression, on both parts, frustration, anger, and confusion as well...

For me, it mattered whether my X was MLC or WAS. It mattered because I am the type of person who needs to understand...

It helped me because as soon as I understood, then I knew where to start. With me...

Ultimately, I would have started with me anyway, however I had developed such a low opinion of myself (oddly only within my marriage), that without that understanding, I could have spent years and years changing everything he spewed (it was similar to Angela's H's spew) and never even scratched the surface and I would have been still doing everything wrong.

That is something I think you can understand.

Of course I went on the LBS diet and quickly began feeling better about my physical appearance.

As I started weeding through the spew to figure out what I agreed with that my X said, and what I wanted to change about myself, it became easier to become unstuck.

I started by deciding that I didn't have enough activity outside of the house and I started walking once a week with a friend. I hated it, but I forced myself to go.

As I realized that I didn't like that but did like being out of the house, it was easier to find things to get me out.

I made a bucket list of sorts. Not the true type of bucket list, but simply one of things I thought I might like to try.

I got reinvolved in some of my old hobbies. I got busy enjoying my S.

And I started to feel happier. And that made dealing with everything else easier. Because I was in a different mindset.

Sometimes we have to force the change. At least initially.

So pick something, anything, and just do it. And see where it leads...