GM - my dad is a proud patriarch. He would normally not stand for being spoken directly to (my sister tried, for example, and he immediately changed the subject), but the problem was acute enough for all involved (it would stop people from wanting to see him again, or from wanting to work with him) that my sister and I felt it was best to address it.
I told him he had a problem with incontinence and that it could hurt his relations with others (he is still trying to do business deals). I said he should please address this, and could do so by xxx.
This was done out of love and concern, not to be assertive! Would you like your dad to smell badly because of incontinence? Assertiveness was needed to do this (I was always the 'nice' son with the dominant dad), sure, but it was not the point, just a tool.
Yes, I may well be incontinent one day. Neither he nor my mom could smell the problem, but I could, and so would others, and so - * out of love * - I addressed it.
Just had an okay lunch with wife, only the two of us, talking about the Henrietta Lacks documentary I saw last night.
L
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
