DARK - how do you do it right? I need help BADLY

[lovethehub]

I agree with 2nd time. You do not want to go to dark (no contact) but you do want to drop all R talk. As a former WAW, it is frustrating to have your H start doing all of the things you wanted for years once you have finally had enough and want to leave, therefore, no more love notes, gifts, touches, etc.

What you can do is always be kind to her; always be in a good mood, smiling as if you have a little secret; when she talks to you, talk back but don't run at the mouth. reply in a friendly way and then go on about something else.

The most important thing you can do right now is give her the space she is telling you she needs. If you don't, you are continuing to ignore her needs regardless of what you are doing (being nice, love notes, etc).

When I became the LBS, this is what I did in regards to H. I always took a good long look at myself, our R, my part in the downfall of the M, etc. I figured out where I went wrong, the things I was doing that made my H feel unloved, etc. It took about 4 months before H gave me any indication whatsoever that my changes were noticed at all. About a month later I talked to him and apologized for everything I felt I needed to without blame, without justification and without expecting anything in return.

This is going to take time, patience and growth. Journal, come here with questions, take in the advice and use what applies. You will get a lot of help here.