Hoping for Reconciliation after being Separated...

[jp787]

Arg! Still haven't had 'our talk' yet. I feel the longer we go without talking the more nervous I am getting. I think mainly I will let him take the lead of the conversation and do a lot of listening and validating. My DB coach has also given me some great suggestions on what to say or do if certain things happen in our talk. She has said that for the most part let him do the talking.

After he is done expressing his concerns I have a few points that I want to bring up as well. My coach suggested I could phrase it as that I have come up with some solutions to some of the problems we are having...and express my concern and the ideas I have come up with for solutions.

H sprained his ankle pretty bad last night as his volleyball.. it looked awful. I am hoping that won't push our talk back even more... I am getting so nervous!!! Feels like I am in limbo again.. waiting for this talk to happen!!!! ahhhhhhh

I feel like everything is riding on this talk and how it goes. The reason I am so worried is that communication is not one of our strong suits. We haven't done it so well in the past, hopefully we change that as that is one of the areas we need to work on! I am hoping this is a starting point for us to move forward.

peace
-cp

Hi Chasing.
I get the feeling of anxiety from this post, like your biting your nails.
I would suggest slowing down and not build up expectations. Don’t rush anything and expect more time.
IMO, your H needs to be a place that he knows he is full in and ready to work on the M, before he moves home. IMO, take more time while apart to allow communication to happen and work on making it healthy.
My W just turned the corner a few weeks ago. Prior to that she was saying things like “if I came home” she would throw things out, but I could tell she wasn’t sure, confident, ready. Once she turned the corner there was no guessing that she made a choice and was in 100%.
Let many conversations happen between you, let them happen without expectation.
My W and I decided that we wanted to start or have MC in place before she moved home. She wanted to work on some things with her IC before she came home. She asked me if I was ready. Don’t rush anything, allow time.