WOW, you and your husband have sure been through some harrowing times.
I think maybe you should try and love yourself first. Fat or not - doesn't make you less of a person than his PA. He has loved you for what you are, not what you look like. Sure loose weight, but I think more importantly take care of the emotional stuff and how you feel about you, but also maybe give yourself a bit of a makeover. new haircut/colour, some makeup - different to normal if you usually wear some. New outfit, or jazz up some old stuff with a few accessories (jewellery or scarfs).
I am sure that will also get your H's attention, and will also make your feel better when people notice you look different and are making an effort.
Just be good to you for a while, then maybe the rest will be a bit easier.
