Remember, do the Last Resort Technique for your own sanity, health and self-respect. Read it again. Read it closely. It's how to act WHEN your spouse says she wants a divorce.
You can take a *little* time to wait. There might be small window where this might change her perspective. Chances are, it won't. Wait a *little* while. I'd say no more than a month.
However, you can't sit there and passively respond to her initiatives to move forward with a divorce. The longer you wait and drag your heels, and the more the initiative she feels she has to take in divorcing you, the more she'll be in the driver's seat. This means she is more likely to engage a shark for a lawyer and then you'll end up in an adversarial divorce, constantly on the defensive. Remember, your dynamic up till now has been her DRIVING the change, upsetting the apple cart and you RESPONDING (often in fear, desperation, being off-balance).
You said you will wait for her to divorce you and then you will comply. NO!!! Don't just comply. Decide what YOUR post-divorce life should look like and then move in that direction. Move forward in your divorce, don't get dragged into it kicking and screaming or even stoically. Once she's clearly on the path to divorce, YOU take control and lead her through it, to your desired ends.
Remember, the emotional stance, "I don't want this and never did" is what you feel NOW. It's normal. You are probably experiencing some kind of PSTD. However, it's a complacent stance and rather debilitating when it comes to advocating for your own rights and desires. When you get to the point where you have accepted that you are getting a divorce AND realize you deserve better than a cheating spouse, your attitude will change. There's a great website to help with this, it's called Chump Lady. It's very funny but quite empowering, check it out when you have the time.
On a personal note. I suggest you go see a solid therapist for yourself. Someone that can help you process your feelings and give you the courage and clarity to advocate for yourself and the children.
