In and out of fog city

[JayMan]

My text was before BD - just a funny example.

I like what you sent...

[2ndtimearoundCA]

Going out to dinner with w in 10 minutes... Time to listen and validate... I am tempted to bring a voice recorder so I can transcribe the conversation so that people could get out the 2x4s... That would just be creepy though ... so I will have to go it alone...

[2ndtimearoundCA]

W text me back last night saying she loved red wine too, and asked if I had any. After we went back and forth a bit we decided to meet up. Dinner was very much the same as two times ago. Light conversation, fun and relaxing. She text me after

Her: thank you for a stress free evening. Sweet dreams

I text her back this morning

Me: was nice to get some stress relief after a long hard day... Good morning

[AnotherStander]

Light conversation, fun and relaxing. She text me after

Her: thank you for a stress free evening. Sweet dreams

Darn it, and here I was warming up my 2x4 arm! What the heck are you doing with all this good DB'ing!? Where's all the clingy behavior? Well done

[2ndtimearoundCA]

Hopefully I am saying this without too much expectation, but my situation does seem to be improving ever so slightly. The ups and downs are still there, but we are seeing each other once every couple of weeks now. Previously a month or more would go by. I continue to be scared that she is just hoping to be friends, but the fact that she put the sex thing out there a few weeks ago (even though she also took it away in the moment) means that she still possibly thinks of me that way too.

Anyway it is still a little painful to have the periods of no contact which feel long to me. I had previously thought of my current situation as movement toward a brand new relationship with the expectation that things would take a similar path to when I first started dating my w. Things moved pretty quickly when I first started dating my w. So I envisioned much more frequent communication and much more frequent dates. So I now hit myself over the head with a 2x4 for having that expectation.

[2ndtimearoundCA]

I had a nightmare last night (an actual dream; this didn't happen). W was telling me about an OM (not a real OM, just one from the dream) that she was seeing and really enjoyed kissing him. I got angry and threw my red solo cup full of beer across the room. This issue quickly changed to getting the carpet cleaned before the beer soaked in. (Actually the house mostly has hardwood floor, but in my dream it was carpet). So I ran the get he bisel to clean he carpet and I couldn't figure it out how to use it. Then I woke up

[planet]

Relax man. It's just a dream.

[JayMan]

2nd - look at it this way: you've left her now with a hugely positive experience. She now knows she can be with you and relax and enjoy a good time.

Let her soak in that for awhile... Her emotions might get a little weird since she "let you in", so it'll be good for you to stand back.

Now, to practice what I preach!

[2ndtimearoundCA]

Really pretty identical to two times ago when we hung out... That time she texted after "I miss spending my nights with you. Good night (full name like Michael rather than Mike.. But that's not my name lol).. Calling me by my full name was significant.

That time actually felt slightly better.. And then a week later she was texting want sex... Then the next time we got together we had fun, but it got weird at the end when sex was considered...

So this past time was a little lighter and just fun.. So it's still a roller coaster ... But looking at the bigger picture.. We are seeing each other more frequently.. That I see as a positive