You have a lot of stuff that has happened in your M...
1997-birth of a child 1999?-H has motorbike accident 2001-you have EA, which he doesn't know about 2003-you want D and tell him about old and ended EA 2004-he wants to try swinging, you agree, however you aren't really happy with it and want it to stop On and off with this lifestyle (on his part)until 2007.
Mostly accurate timeline here except when I revealed EA I did not ask for a D, I was trying to get his attention.
2003 - His uncle he looked up to, dies suddenly 2008 - I go through major drama and stress at work due to corporate takeover. Change jobs too. We also find out my younger brother has been arrested and goes to prison for the rest of his life because he has been molesting/sexually abusing his daughter.
2012 - My father dies and I am emotional wreck. Started becoming depressed because of my weight issues, (have the fab fat over 40 gain, try everything to lose and cannot) my father dying and knowing that my M is going downhill. I am a ball of stress. Not treating H well at all.
First bomb, admits OW, wants D...
You DB for a few months and he wants to reconcile. Says all of the right things, you post in piecing for a month, and then you disappear...
I did disappear, I noticed that too when I reread. I was probably too happy to realize I needed to keep going...I thought things were 'fixed'
Did any of the counseling happen? Did any of the things you were beginning to do continue? Like the meditation classes, taking care of yourself physically, taking time to love yourself?
We never went to counseling, H thought things were 'fixed' too. I did meditation for a while. Over the 6 years I began to gain weight due to emotional stressors still involved, so no I didn't take care of myself. I remember feeling like I could never compare to the PA he had or be what he wanted.
I am going to bet it probably didn't since you are back here... On the nose! you got it.
So it's 2013...
You have been through a storm of a M. You have made your mistakes, just as your H has made his.
You used DB tactics to reconcile your M once (did that too) but you didn't do the follow through and back here you are...
maybe dealing with MLC, maybe not...
here none the less...
You being here tells me that maybe you don't want to quit just yet...
You're right. Deep down I do not want to give up on this marriage or him.
Let me know if I am off base. I want to make sure I understand the timeline...
WOW....
And who is having the MLC ?
You or him ????
I think that maybe you should figure out exactly who you are, and what you want, before you try to put a marriage in between all of that....
