A Fresh, New Day - Pt II

[MrBond]

Let me put in my 2 cents here.

It's not "society" that landed people here. It was individuals. Just because "society" may show that it's okay to D, etc. it comes down to an individual making a choice. Society didn't make your WASs cheat on you or make them want to D you. It's their own choice and decision.

The issue I've had of people blaming "society" on these boards is that it takes away personal responsibility from the WAS AND the LBS. Everyone here had done something wrong to their spouses that made them unhappy. Now that doesn't give them an excuse to cheat or whatever, but if the roles were reversed and you told you spouse that you were unhappy and tried to get them to listen but they wouldn't. What would you do? Let's be honest. You'd think about leaving too.

Point is that if the WAS didn't say they were leaving, many on here wouldn't have gotten a sudden revelation that their M needed saving. I don't know any M couple who didn't (at one point) talk bad of the other person. No one is a saint and no one is perfect.

Sure in the Middle East they may not have many D's but that's also because their are very few women rights. They also have the highest level of domestic abuse in the world and that's not counting the child brides in some "societies".

Bottom line is that it comes down to the choice of the individual. They might see D being shown on tv and think that's a way out, but that's no different from everyone here looking at pro-M materials and seeing that there's a way to stay. It's an individual choice.

Even someone from the most horrible childhood can have a great life if they make the right choices. I personally know many people who have become the change rather than letting the change become them. And I actually know more M'd couples than D'd ones. Are they always happy? Of course not. But they understand that and that's what makes a R last. Not how crappy your childhood was or if the Kardashians are getting D'd. It's an individual's journey.

Just because your spouse chooses to do something that you don't, doesn't make their decision any less important than yours.