Well, y'all would be sorta proud of me this evening.
H started texting me again, right after work. He wasn't coming home again (big surprise) and he wanted me to tell the kids that he missed them, etc.
I took that as him trying to put a guilt trip on me because of our conversation this morning. So, I was mean (at first...hang on...I get better in a minute) and told him to tell them himself. That I wasn't even home yet and that he wasn't going to blame me for HIM deciding not to come home.
So, the texts started getting heated...when I took a long, deep breath and remembered everything y'all posted to me today (and before, but especially today)and I decided that I needed to do an immediate 180.
The next time he texted me, I didn't blast back, like he was expected but I.....wait for it....I VALIDATED him.
I started texting back things like, "That must really frustrate you when I do that. I'll work on it. I'm sorry you feel that way. I didn't see things that way but now understand how you would see it that way, etc."
And it worked. He calmed down. I calmed down. We quit texting and no fight was started. He did text a bit ago to tell the kids good night. But, we ended the night on a less confrontational note. And, I could tell by the tone of this last few texts that he couldn't figure out why I wasn't fighting back.
Doesn't mean he still won't move out, but at least, I'm handling things better and in a more DBing way.
Now, the challenge is to continue behaving well tomorrow!
