Moving this over from my old thread, from that wise one, uRworthy:
Quote:
Ang, here's the thing about all that. Yes, it was a backslide. Yes, they happen. You shake it off, you move on from it. It will not make or break your sitch.
What he said, they have all said in one form or another - "See, thats why Im leaving."
They need to justify it in their heads. If they can't, then where are they? It is important, though, to take a look at what stung because there could be valuable info there.
I've been thinking about this all afternoon...and wondering why what he was saying today stung so much. After all, he's said and done worse. Why did his attitude about me not being "civil" enough hurt so much?
Part of it was that I just felt so unimportant, so unworthy. He'll spend several texts pretending to be "civil" and getting onto me for not being civil...and yet, just a day ago he was name calling and insulting me.
He is putting all this effort into being "civil" and nice now, but didn't even try to before. I guess the thing is that he showed he CAN be nice to me when it serves him, but I'm just not important enough to be nice to when I need him to be nice.
You are angry because you are hurt. All valid feelings. And anger can be used to propel you forward. So it is best to feel it, then let it wash over you. Otherwise it weighs you down and saps your energy. Energy better spent on you.
So, you need to put some plans into place when this kind of stuff happens so you are prepared to deal with it.
What could you do when these discussions escalate and you feel out of control?
I need to be better at telling him, "I really can't talk about this right now. I will at a later time when things calm down, etc." and then, just walk away or stop texting immediately, instead of always trying to get in the last word or answer back.
I need to find a way to realize that whatever issue is getting so heated does NOT have to be solved right then and there. I can let it go for a bit and it will be okay.
How can you react differently? Not for him, for you. Because you want to become your best you.
My best me. Hmmmmm. Still not sure what/who that is yet, but I'm working on it.
