my path is a winding uphill one. im now at this crossroads and im stuck in this place of indecision. school is going horribly for me. im not doing good online. i want to go on campus. i also want to switch my major. im not sure about it. i dont want to do electrical work anymore. i feel old beyond my age. my body aches everyday. i havent had a raise in over 2 years. im at the point where to move forward i would have to go out on my own. ive wanted to do that but my heart isnt it. i only became an electrician because my ex told me i had to get a good paying job and do it right now. with my record construction was the obvious pick.
ive been drawing alot lately and doing a few tattoos. i really have missed it. drawing was something i did to focus my mind my whole life. ive been designing tshirts for an event we are having. i really really like it. im going to talk to the career counselor tomorrow. i want to see what options i have to pursue a career in something art related. graphic design? web design? i dont know. something has to change. i want a job where im not literally almost killing myself everyday. one that i am excited to show up for. one where i can make it to my kid's activities.
i just dont know what to do. been super stressed about it lately. i dont like this feeling of not knowing. the problem is i dont trust my decision making skills anymore. im afraid of doing it wrong. i feel lost in a way.
im hoping to figure this out soon. i feel like im at one of those defining moments. either follow my dreams that i didnt think i deserved or just buck up and continue doing something that gets more miserable everyday because then i can still somewhat pay for my kids....
