Learning to detach

[Whiterose]

More craziness on H's mlc front.
I received a phone call from my lawyer after she had taled to opposing counsel.

He said that h has accused me of poisoning the boys against him. I got angry. Told her other than telling the boys to be honest with their dad about their feelings I stay out of it. I said from day one I told H that the boys were having a hard time. To talk to them. Be there for them. I was told I was saying things to make H feel guilty. So I stopped and got a text asking why S14 wasn't talking to him. I responded with ask s. Now, inappropriately, he asks S18 what is going on My lawyer tried disagreeing that the boys cannot just tell their dad how they feel as it will upset him. Now I'm really angry. Is said I do not care about H's feelings. He made this mess. The boys feel scared, angry and insecure and as their father he needs to take his medicine and hear what they feel and then help them through it. I also mentioned that I often ask my boys about things I've said and done and if I've upset them. Time for h to man up and be a dad. Is said S14 needs to be met where he's at and he's comfortable in our home so this is where h needs to be for him. The lawyer "you don't want him to move back in??" Me nooooo but he can come and be here for his boys. She asked about setting up visitation. I said I don't need visitation he can come wherever he wants. She said it was inappropriate because he doesn't live here and I said you don't understand I don't cAre. His boys are here and need him. He can come whenever and be with them. She suggested we suggest sat 2pm or h can contact me if that doesn't work. I said he won't come. He doesn't come to the house at all but it looks like we've tried.

His lawyer painted a pic of a calm, composed, sad H. (Referring to the comments he made to me about not paying the mortgage) and that I was the one being irrationall and stalling. Leaving his stuff at the end of the driveway (never mind it was in the greenhouse and I would let him know it was there)

His lawyer said I though she was pre approved for the mortgage and my lawyer said yes but not without the spousal and child support in place. Now that the form 8 is done we can work on that. His lawyer says I thought her income was on par with h.......no!!! Gross yes but she deals with perishable products and her net is less than half. He was surprised I think. He said will this is talking too long. My lawyer said she's retained me in July. It's actually gone quite quickly. She said just the fact they've agreed to a number for the house already puts them ahead. His lawyer said he warned H it's way too low and my lawyer said I've advised my client it's way too high since many homes sell for below assesd value. She then said ultimately they've decided so lawyers should not be muddying the water.

Then came the furniture/tools talk. She said h is entitled, which I don't dispute, but it doesn't make it any less repugnant that he would take stuff from his children's home to furnish his new life. I've known a few people and each one of those men left with nothing or one thing. I told my lawyer I didn't care what the law states just because it's legal doesn't make it ethical. Oh and h has decided that when S18 turns 19 next month he won't be giving me child support for the TWO months before he goes back to school. Nice. Like he's not going to need food. Again, I understand the law is on his side, but it's disguising that his father would do that!!!

I was also told h would be paying me my back child support and start paying the school fees ASAP. As he filed that with the courts when he mDe the court date

My lawyer sent a recap and guess what h was having none of it
H won't be coming by sat as he has to work. I guess you can't come by after work???? H said he's discussed, there're minute convo 2 weeks ago and he has not responded since, it directly with S14 and will continue to do so to improve their relationship.

Apparently my lawyer heard wrong and H is "tapped out" and is going to attempt to make a payment At the end of the month. Oh and because he was paying the mortgage after he left he's basically allowed to bounce that money to me now.....inferred

Oh and they want clarification if I am preapproved and to see the mortgage application. Making sure I'm not hiding money.

I'm disgusted with his attitude towards our boys and this sense of entitlement, legal or not, to come into this home and take what he so desires. You left you left. Stay gone and get yourself the new life you dreamed of!!!! Leave my children, who do not desire a new life, out of it!!!!! Soooooooooo angry