WAW served me, 2 weeks in, looking for pointers

[jp787]

Well KdogGS you had better read and reread what uRworthy wrote, heck go to my threads and ignore my babble and read what all have posted to me!

They sure know what they are saying, promise!

One thing I learned is that it doesn't matter what you want (speaking about the marriage). Even if you said the magic words (there are none) and she came back, it would be wrong. She has to go through what she needs to go through and find her way on her own.

Maybe think of it like this, in your W eyes she needs a D. That is something that in her mind she knows. All your trying to prolong it and stop it may just make her more upset with you, cause in her mind it will happen.
So what would happen if you stepped back and said my W needs a D and that is part of her journey. What if you then backed off and gave her space and focused on making yourself into the person you wanted to be.
You would be focused on you and making yourself the best you can be and not in her way to do what she needs to do in her mind.

Now... What if when the D get close she changes her mind or the D happens and she reaches that goal and can think past that into what she needs next, her mind is clear now.
She has accomplished what she feels she needs and you didn't hinder it, you were working on yourself and making your self a better you.

Your W now can open her eyes and see a better you and she is where she feels she needs to be. This will be the best shot you have of saving your M and making yourself healthy at the same time.

If you continue to pursue, delay, stand in her way and focus on her, then the D will still come and your W will see you in the a light of not changing. You will be in a worse place to care for yourself and will be less attractive to her.

I get that your emotions are ruling you, they did me too. All I can do is tell you how it is, it is up to you to buy into it and act on it.

I wasted a lot of time, I hope you do NOT.