Yes, your sitch makes me sad. I see a guy who is very sexually frustrated trying to do the right thing by his wife, and spending lots of energy rationalizing why her position is okay and acceptable when from an outside perspective it is not.
She seems to have you accepting that if her abstinence is a problem, then so is your sex drive, and one "problem" is no worse than the other. I can understand that argument in the context of the overall population, but not in the context of a marriage.
If you accept that, however, and can make peace with it, I guess that's the important thing.
I'm now starting to think not fulfilling your relationship partners minimal obligations for intimacy and a sexlife is terrible neglect. It's not going to kill them to do it, or cause them anguish or pain, they just don't like doing it and don't thnk they should.
However they are thinking you should be OK with going sexless and affectionless for 10 years...
ssmguy, what about having hand jobs re-instated. This way she doesn't have to feel "violated", and she can show you she simply does not want to spend any time on your physical pleasure, it's not important to her...
