Yes, your sitch makes me sad. I see a guy who is very sexually frustrated trying to do the right thing by his wife, and spending lots of energy rationalizing why her position is okay and acceptable when from an outside perspective it is not.
She seems to have you accepting that if her abstinence is a problem, then so is your sex drive, and one "problem" is no worse than the other. I can understand that argument in the context of the overall population, but not in the context of a marriage.
If you accept that, however, and can make peace with it, I guess that's the important thing.
