Thanks for your long post. I don't understand what you consider inauthentic game playing. If you could please be specific, that would be helpful.
I am giving W space, as per many people's advice here. I went out to a good movie last night, as per sandi2's general 'have a good time' advice, and plan to go out again, without asking or saying where I am going, on Friday evening, to a Tantric place that loosens you up. Saturday a guy friend and I plan to hike and maybe meet another friend. I think these are all GAL activities, so I don't see the problem. Shall I not do them? I certainly don't plan to hang out at home doing nothing, wasting time (would love to take my d15 somewhere fun, but she is not so easy recently). Life is too short, especially after 50...
In the States I go to drum circles, play music with a meetup group, and see the films that don't make it to this backwater. I also get to go to a regular job, whereas I work alone from home here (which stinks in many ways). My W knows nothing of the drum circles or playing music - am I doing something wrong? Was it wrong to go hear music in New York City on the way back to here?
I'll be interviewing potential applicants to my alma mater next weekend, and did not ask anyone if that was okay. I am told by other interviewers that it is quite fun, and look forward to it.
A wonderful sounding guy emailed that he couldn't make it to the men's lunch club kickoff tomorrow - a circle of regular friends is one thing I would really like - and my door would always be open to them, like the Irish tradition. I've been a too analytical outsider for a long time, away from people, and now want to get closer to the fire, travel while I can, ideally with my kids and a woman, feel more, laugh more.
At EE I was a different person, really really angry to start, but then gradually softened and finally had four lovely women on my arms the final evening, wonderful stuff, smiling, unstuck. I also made a dear friend there, whom I try to support and share with (I wrote to 5, trying build relationships after EE, but only one stuck).
I understand that I don't need to care what my W thinks - a liberating thought - and so will do the above as I please. Where is the error?
Re tulips - I am just the mechanical gardener ('move a rock from a to b', repeat), and d15 would know better where to plant. On the other hand, it seems pretty clear to me where this should be, and it being more assertive to decide myself, will put them in the now harvested potato bed (any gardening advice is appreciated, as this is quite possibly a bad idea!)
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
