We had the separation talk 18 months ago when I moved out. The girls did really well, but it was framed in more of "sometimes friends need to spend some time apart" instead of anything final being mentioned. I don't expect them to take it so well this time.

I need to talk with XW beforehand to ensure she doesn't use language like "your dad and I thought this would be best" or "WE decided", because that isn't the truth. I'm not looking to make her out to be the enemy here, I just don't want to lie to the kids, so I want to avoid statements like that so I don't feel compelled to correct her.

Of course we will reenforce that this has nothing to do with them and was in no way their fault. That we are still their parents and love them very much.

There likely won't be very much change in the near future, but I don't think that's permanent. XW and I still have an extremely weird dynamic where boundaries aren't what they should be and it can't last forever this way. My guess of the furthest out stopping point of this type of relationship is when one of us starts dating another, because our relationship would be inappropriate.

Wife was visibly upset when we went to the bank to remove her from my accounts. She is frequently temperature checking me - things like playfully nudging me with her foot to get a response from me when I'm not fully engaged with her.

Sorry, I've ventured off into the dynamic of XW and I. It's very complicated and ultimately stressful. Neither one of us wants to fully push the other one aside for good, but we're not in a place to move a R forward either.

Blah, so much to type. I'm just scratching the surface. It's so complicated.

-PM

M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.