A lot of men are so panicked that they can't see they are trying to control the other person. They just want the A to end, (which is what needs to happen so the M can R). It's really kind of natural that a man tries to control the situation b/c he's fighting for his M. But here's the point: you cannot control her. And the more she feels you are trying to control her, the more she will prove you can't. It just makes things worse. Besides, what could you do to stop her?
I was given similar advice Dingo.
Every time you bring up OM or A, no matter if it’s giving advice, articles, just talking about it in anyway does one thing, it brings it to the top. It makes her think about it and no matter if it is guilt or joy, it makes her think about it because you brought it up. Please know I understand that what your going through is he11. Do not bring it up, do not talk about it (at this point) if she brings it up. Listen, I contacted the OM and I was flying on emotion, guess what happened? Ten guys came and dug a huge whole and threw me into it and my W filled it in. It backfired and set me back far. Right now all you can do for you and your M is to not bring it up and work on you, become who you want to be and a H that only a fool would leave. I wish I had some advice on the how to part, but I do not.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
