Last night was second meeting of Divorce Care. The meeting went from 7:30 pm to 9 pm but the Pastor said that we could all stay and chat, no rush. We left at 10 pm. There's a woman in the group who is in a similar sitch to me. She says she's not there to process the end of her marriage but to work through the loss of her first real R since the divorce. She was the dumpee whereas I was the dumper. There's the wondering about whether the pain you go through is worth doing it again. You wonder how something so nice became so difficult. In her case, she's the mother of a 5 year old boy and she dated bf for a year when he turned around and said a child was too much responsiblity for him and he ditched her. I said that sometimes we put aside issues or concerns because the good stuff we're getting is so good! For me it was validation and the feeling that someone really, really loved me. I'd do anything for her and ran myself into the ground. I kept telling myself that it was the situation and not the person but eventually you recognize it is the person and that stuff isn't gonna change. So after you pour your everything into someone...poof, it's gone. Hard stuff. Anyway, the group is great and people are very open and sharing their stuff. Wow. The Pastor and group leader are wonderful and there's no rushing anyone for the door, they stay and are very involved. Glad I went.
