Mimi, sorry to hear your family wasn't that supportive. I hope you can keep up what you're doing with or without their approval.
I've had a great few days with my mom, it definitely helped to talk everything over. She just keeps complimenting me on how positive I'm being about everything, and to keep up the good work. It's been really nice. I still haven't heard anything from the W, the last time I had any contact with her was when I sent her the email with my new contact info. I've gone dark since then. I'm hoping I can keep it up in the coming days.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
My W sent me this email last night regarding signing the waiver of service. I'm not going to sign it, my lawyer said it wasn't even done correctly as the lawyer W went to doesn't usually do family law. How should I respond to the below? I'll just get served in person and then have my lawyer send a response I'm thinking. I don't plan to answer her today, what would you do?
Hey H,
It's been almost a week past the 30 days now and I wanted to ask where you are with signing the papers? You had asked for 30 days and I decided then to give you time to allow you to feel more ready. I would like for you to have them signed by this Friday before you go to work.
I hope you are doing well. My brother said they saw you and your mom at church on Sunday. I'm glad your mom was able to come out. I hope you two had a great time.
W
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Be a man of your word and do what you told her you were going to do. If you asked for 30 days and she gave that to you, then sign the papers as you agreed. Stalling is not going to help you here. It is going to cause a rift and widen that gap between you and your W.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
Be a man of your word and do what you told her you were going to do. If you asked for 30 days and she gave that to you, then sign the papers as you agreed. Stalling is not going to help you here. It is going to cause a rift and widen that gap between you and your W.
I never told her I was going to sign the waiver. I told her I needed more time to think things through, which was a true statement and request. I am not going to sign an incorrect document either. If I sign it now, then Sept 9th is the start date, if she has to have me re-served it resets the clock and gives me more time. This could be done in less than 20 days if I sign it from the original date.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
If you do anything besides sign, I would simply point out that the letter is incorrect and why, and ask her to let you know when it's corrected.
I got served on 8/29/2013, and we didn't go for our first hearing until 10/7/2013, and even then they set our first trial date for 1/7/2014.
Now, my W is now telling me that she doesn't want divorce.
Getting served isn't necessarily the end of the world.
Thanks Jon, I was reading through your threads and you've had a lot more opportunities for interaction. We have no kids or reasons to see each other. Haven't had chances for positive interactions.
I thought about asking her to meet in person to discuss the paperwork, point out it wasn't completed correctly, give her half of the money in our taxable accounts and divide up our finances, thank her for giving me time to become more emotionally centered and tell her just to go ahead and have me served.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Thanks labug, I'll probably shoot her the email Friday morning. Ultimately, I'm not going to sign the waiver though, so I'll let her know that too I guess.
I want to meet in person because we need to discuss some of the items. I have decided to stay and live here regardless of the outcome, I think I can have a good life either way. I want a chance to see her in person and have a positive interaction as well. Talking through email is going to be difficult to sort everything out, it would be a lot more efficient in person.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
if she has to have me re-served it resets the clock and gives me more time.
It's not going to give you more time, it's just going to anger your W and make her more resolute than ever to push the D through. Don't try and stall the process, it doesn't help and often causes more damage.
