I have thought of that Cadet. I certainly don't think it's simply about just me. I just honestly don't know what's happening, since a fight that I was involved in spurred the whole thing. I still feel bad about my part in it.
It sounds naive but I thought he was over the MLC (or the part where he goes and withdraws somewhere for months). He also seems to do this month long avoidance thing (or longer) since last year or so. He's always held grudges a little longer than me, but never for this long, and he's never been so explosive over little things like the recent past. I feel like this was bound to happen, as I found myself walking on eggshells suddenly and being taken out of context a lot.
Somewhere in my mind I still don't know if he's planning on leaving, or if that was just something he said after that terrible argument. That was the last thing he said during it. If all this is part of his ongoing MLC, I would actually feel a lot better about it and I have less of an issue giving him space like I have been, rather than him wanting out, and I'm kind of clueless about it.
I'm having difficulty navigating this thing, or how to think of it in my mind. I don't know which end is up. Some days I see him and he's amicable and chatty for a few minutes (still keeping to himself for the most part though). Other days I feel like he's a roommate I have, who I don't have the right to speak to. If I don't say something at all ("I made dinner if you want it") we wouldn't speak at all. He hides out most of the day.
Maybe I need to read a little more on the MLC. I feel like I'm going crazy. Life seems normal one minute, and then I realize I'm not even sure if I'm technically supposed to be moving on with my life or not without him. I'm sure I'll get better at this. In the meantime, you really wouldn't know I'm agonizing over it, or he wouldn't. I'm carrying on with life and keeping busy. I figured this would be the one place I could take this and not feel as isolated. I don't really want to bring my friends / family into this too much!
