While I know the answer, it has also triggered thoughts of situations that occurred just before that if I has handled differently...
This crisis has been building up for some time, and one or two particular situations, if handled differently, would most likely NOT have changed the mlc'ers path.
Yes, we do need to look at all those situations, the dynamics of the M that WE contributed to, and verify if we need to change, and if so, do do, because we want to be better humans.
But I would bet that any of those situations, habits and such could have been dealt with in MC, or just via rational R work, if our partners were not in crisis....ya know?
I have done the same as you, wondering "if only I had done X, Y and Q differently", and through the folks here, and my IC, all my readings and research, I am pretty sure none of them, if handled differently, would have diverted my W from crisis...at best, it would have delayed it's onset only.
And since my W in in "phase 2" of her journey after C and I "helped" her out of phase 1, and I made a bunch of changes then, she still had unanswered questions, demons from the past, etc. It didn't help that I backslid in my changes from phase 1, but it wasn't the reason why she went back into the tunnel. She has even said so the past few months...that I could have been the "perfect H" and she would still have had/have whatever is churning around there in her brain.
So, yes, do look at those past events, figure out what you want to fix about you, for you. What do you need to do differently to be a better human? And then make those changes for YOU.
Hope this helps some!
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
