"but W won't see us having it. Is it important that I just have a good time wherever, or should she also see it?"

forget W.

ignore her and go do things for yourself.

dont make decisions based on what she may or may not think.

you're killing yourself with worrying so much about every little minute detail.

just go have fun for fun's sake. go hike because you like to hike. go make pancakes because you want to make pancakes.

but forget W and all her responses.

"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".