Well, I still think it sounds like she's on Step 5 of a 12-step program - the step where you have to make amends to everyone you've hurt.
As for forgiving the OP - yes, they're often slimebuckets, BUT - a lot of our anger at them, is really mis-directed anger at our spouses. After all, the OP didn't break a vow to us - our SPOUSES broke that sacred vow. Often we redirect that anger at the OP because we don't want to accept the enormity of our spouse's betrayal.
