Hoping for Reconciliation after being Separated...

[chasingpavements]

I think you need to really be open to listening to his complaints, after all its how he feels, whether they're justified or not, its just a step in the process that lets him feel his voice is being heard.

Yes, I agree. I am going to validate, and just listen. I am actually quite curious to see what he thinks. By the sounds of it, he has done quite a bit of reflection lately and has come up with some reasons where he thinks we went wrong. I am going to let him take the lead with the conversation and go from there.

Next, I think you really need to let the counseling process play out or your going to be right back to square one. Hopefully he gets a good pro marriage counselor to talk with.

For sure counseling has to be involved. I am going to see if he will do MC, although I don't know if I should push the issue? I just feel like we need the pros to handle this! lol. Apparently we have not done so well in the past with our discussions so I feel we need a MC to help!!!

Its also important that the validation continues, so he feels more inclined to open up to you in the future. Not keep holding back. I think about you often, and am proud of the way you've hung in there. But you know the real work is about to start.

Yes, I agree. He has shut down in the past and I worry he will do that again. I would like him to open up to me more often so I know how he's feeling.
Thanks Fly. I think of you often too, and so glad that we were able to help each other on here. And of course I am here if you need me as well.

I certainly cant give you advice on how to proceed, except to be patient in the process. All indicators are positive, so be happy with progress. I'm sure there will still be tough days ahead, and for a while it still may be a two steps forward one back, but forward is forward. Please don't rush to just be a couple again until both your lines of communication are open, and open freely.

Slow and steady wins the race. I am going to take it slow and not rush into things. I will need to know that he is 100% committed before we move forward with things. I need to protect myself emotionally from getting hurt again.

In a way I am nervous and excited right now, although I will try not to get too excited. What a journey this has all been. In a way I am glad that I have gone through this, as it has helped me realize how strong I am, and helped me grow as a person. I am back to that place where I know either way things will be fine.