TYVM for your honestly, I appreciate you having to reflect on things so hurtful.
My point with the custody thing, and I appreciate your candor. But my bet is your husband could NOT make it 2 weeks anyways. In fact I bet he'd barely make it a few days. BUT, maybe that's exactly the perspective he needs to let go of the issue. Right now, he thinks your not being a good mom/housekeeper. I don't mean to make it sound like giving him a dose of his own medicine by any means. Just being able to let him see what the shoe is like on the other foot. Is it worth a few lists or phone calls to finally put that issue behind you? He might even gain respect for all that you've had to deal with. It certainly cant be easy, but maybe he thinks it is?
To be honest, I don't see that you have too bad of self esteem issues. Your obviously a strong woman. You've admitted that you've basically taken care of EVERYTHING, and he's basically co-dependent. I do understand that your hurt, and your confidence is shaken thou. Heck, who's wouldn't. Its the trust and betrayal, that's hard to forgive or get past. Are you getting any counseling for yourself?
Getting back to the time with your son, I certainly understand he's company. What are some of the emotional needs you think your lacking right now? What are some things you wish you could do, if money or time wasn't an issue? Obviously companionship in a way your son or husband cant give you. Is there a way you could change that? Is there a friend you do have in your class that's been more supportive? Who are you getting to vent to when your having your off/bad times?
Going to the gym, getting out, its all great! But do you have human interaction with anyone that you can share with, who's been supportive, a way to release things in your brain not just your body when it comes to your frustration? I know you post on MH's thread a lot, and I think he's admitted that he's staying busy as he can, but lacks people interactions. Do you feel the same? I know these boards are a good way of getting things out sometimes, heck sometimes its the only way for a time. Is there a way of changing that or doing something different?
Hang in there please!! Don't get discouraged, get detached! Maybe understanding, from his perspective, that maybe he feels like a failure, that he's had to be supported, that he cant do things for himself is why he's here. He's struggling with the fact, he cant even control his own life and he acts out on the only people that have been there for him. He's running, he's seeking, but cant find answers. Its a common tale that you cant take personally, let him try to find his own faults. The time will come, will it be fast enough for you? that's up to you.
