It really is awful looking. A naked mattress on the floor? Really? WBW H is waiting for the judge to give him furniture from our home before purchasing anything. He said he would want to see the boys more once he has a place and voila. Has had a place for a month and the boys didn't even know he had rented a place until I found out the other night. I guess it's ok for his nieces to be there though.
Job to call my inlaws unusual is an understatement. They're all equally spinning. I agree that she is fishing and could easily turn on me again. I shared my anger towards events, but not specific, my confusion and love for H and my very real worry over S14. Again not too many specifics just a few descriptive words. My hope is that it will be shared with H at some point. He really needs a kick in the teeth in re: to what he's doing to the boys.
I hope the lawyer has a plan to get me my child support ASAP. I can't keep working like this and stealing from Peter to pay Paul, thank you job
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
My lawyers office just served me with divorce papers. I'm sitting in the waiting room crying. I knew it was happening but I feel so sick. Everything in me wants to get back in my car and drive over to him and freak out and ask how he can do this to us all.
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
WR, I am very sorry to hear what has happened. Cry, scream do whatever you need to do to get through this latest shock. Once you've found your balance again, find that business hat and put it on. It's time to get tough and ensure that you and your boys are taken care of.
It's always seems like the lbs gets served around a holiday. Now, it makes sense that you weren't advised of his surgery. He didn't want to have to look you in the face, knowing you would be getting those papers this week. What a coward.
Don't contact him about the papers. In fact, I would be very quiet about them. I'm sure he's expecting you to ring him up or text him about them. WR, do a 180 and remain still. Work w/your lawyer to get the ball rolling on what you need for child support, etc.
I'm sending you positive vibes. Please come here to vent. That's what we are here for. Do not vent to him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Oh Rose, you poor woman. But remember dear Rose, that filing for divorce, and even final divorce, does not necessarily mean the end. The marriages of all of us on this forum are basically over. What we are hoping for is a new marriage and new relationship, if we still find ourselves fond of our Hs once they have woken up from their MLCs.
At least now H will legally be required to pay his child support. That should help you financially. I agree with Job, I'm sure H expects you to mention receiving the papers to him. So don't drive over there or even text him. Make him wonder
Positive thoughts are coming to you from me too!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
WR, One more thing, do not let on to your SIL that you have the papers. I'm now thinking she knew about them and was fishing to see if you would say anything else. Why cry over a certain food that you liked unless she knew something.
Sit quietly and listen to your lawyer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Wait before you say anything to him or the SIL. It will keep. I know the impulse. It's powerful. Just sit with it and get your head right before you say anything.
Your heart is the most important thing right now. Take good care of it and protect it from any further damage.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Thank you everyone. When I was served with the initial separation papers I didn't contact him, actually only in re: to bouncing the mortgage payment have I ever contacted him to freak out, so I'm guessing he doesn't think ill be calling him. I told my lawyer about how he said I wouldn't see one more dime, for ALL THAT FUN, until I took him seriously. She was shocked. Said she'd thought she had heard it all. It would appear the day he filed the papers with Supreme Court, again she was shocked that he did that considering we should be working on it before taking it to court, was also the same day he bounced the mortgage payment (or had it moved by a week anyway) and in it he has said he was going to pay me my child support and has now said he is not going to. She will be calling his lawyer about that.
I've got so much running through my head. Two hours I was in there!! Good God this was a big bill. How is he affording this?!?! I have a bit more stuff to get and she would like me to message husband about the house and that he gets his money if I get my child support and spousal and see if he'll just agree to it. Once I get a letter from my mortgage broker guaranteeing I get the mortgage when I get he papers she'll help me compose a message to send him. Try and keep it out of the courts. Who knows what his mlc brain will say though. I won't mention the court documents in my message either. I think this is why he thinks I'm not taking him seriously because I don't acknowledge the lawyers or documents or Anyhting. My lawyer asked if I had said to H that I have the mortgage as long as the numbers come in and I said no. It's none of his business and she did agree but said this is why he thinks you're stalling. I did mention that we talk VERY seldomly and I've never phoned him about anything re the process I didn't tell her it's my 180..... Don't think she'd get it:)
I think my sil is torn. I'm family, but not really, and I believe she still doesn't 100% agree with what H is doing. You're right though, job, I will say nothing. I haven't contacted her since she contacted me yesterday and don't plan on it either. S18 said that she told him to say hi to me and I did mention that we had messaged yesterday as well. He knows I'm upset with what she said to him so maybe that will make him feel better. Also said that H said that eventually S14 is going to have to talk to him......I laughed. Not the best reaction but I did. H did text S14 saying he missed him this thanksgiving and hoped he had a good one and spent time with family and that he loved him. No response from S.
Is it me or is there just always more going on in my stitch? Always another incident with the boys. More money problems. More lawyers. Six months here people. He left SIX MONTHS AGO. How I'm not 10lbs with all the stress is a miracle. I was talking to a friend of mine after I left the office and, crying, was saying I'm a good person. I try to be nice. I'm working hard to take care of my kids. I help other people. I don't follow him around. Haven't shown up at his work. Haven't yelled or called him names. Haven't bad mouthed him all over fb. Haven't even said anything on fb! I'm just at such a loss
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
