Three months ago my W shared "out of the blue" (for me at least) that the love was gone, no more connection, that I am controlling and manipulative, that I have stolen her voice, etc.
Partly because we were living overseas, and partly because I do have fix-it tendencies, I broke many of the 37 rules before I knew they existed. She wanted to fly home with our two young kids, and leave me right away - I begged her to stay initially.
Since that time, we have returned to the States and I have stopped trying to analyze her, fix her, etc. I have turned to me, thankfully. It is less maddening and actually something I can control.
Our jobs are tied to our marriage (pastoral / mission work) and so I have had the temptation the last 90 days to believe the sky is falling. The reality is that yes, the sky is falling. I am in danger of losing my wife and kids, and everything else (all the other shattered dreams) which domino from that. But I have determined that everything else is worth throwing away in order to save our marriage.
She has removed her rings, told me she is "done", mentioned separation a few times, has changed some credit card passwords, made a resume and put it out on monster.com and other sites - several other things. So I have good reason to believe that if she felt independent enough, she would have left with the kids or asked me to leave by now.
I am not 100% sure there isn't an OM, but I fairly believe there is not.
So, I have a few questions about following the 37 rules. Is this the right place to ask?
