Becoming Comfortably Numb...Hopefully!

[RosaLinda]

Hi there Portia! Congratulations on your new car! And grrrr that you couldn't see thru your SO's windows for clues on child seats etc. Is his car RED?

Your poor dad. Having impending surgery looming over you is horrible, but to have it postponed - that is awful  Maybe Queen Kitty would threaten to bite the surgeon unless he speeds things up! 

I know you say you don't expect support from SO because he isn't aware of your dad's condition. But don't you think it might be fair to let him know? After all your dad was like a FIL to SO for almost 20 years. It's your call of course, I just thought he might like to know. 

And I refuse to call him your xSO it's been just over a year. Minutes in MLC-time, and nothing when compared to your 18 years together. 

"I remember how big I was in blaming myself for losing him - I was/was not [fill in the blank] and I deserved what I got. It did not help that outside friends and family basically said the same thing - well, you weren't married... But I have learned that if he wanted out - he should have grown a pair and talked to me. Even if I was a raving shrew, I did not deserve his treatment of me. It took a long time for me to get there."

Hey you sound good and strong here! I'm glad you are able to see that your friends' and family's advice and recriminations were just WRONG! You did nothing wrong, unless being loving, loyal and supportive is wrong somehow. 

But Portia, I think these MLCers aren't capable of being honest and upfront, and saying look, I'm not happy, and then discussing how you can fix the relationship. And wouldn't the guy you loved all those years have done that? Wasn't he an upright honest guy? I hope and honestly believe that he'll wake up, but also think you'll have moved on by then. The crazy dope!